Christmas Chaos!
by Haruhara Haruko
Summary: Gift-giving. Romance. Alcohol. That's right... It's Christmas time in the Final Fantasy worlds! :D
1. 'Thanksh Cat Shit!!!'

Here's the remake of Christmas Chaos! Believe me, you wouldn't want to read the original crap I had. So enjoy the new crap!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Square or anything I'm using. If I did, I would have a lot of money and I could buy a PS2. But since I don't own Square, I don't have a PS2 or FFX... Or anything else, for that matter... *gets dragged away* Heh heh. Let this disclaimer apply.  
  
~*~  
  
PROLOGUE--I know it doesn't rhyme.  
  
On the night before Christmas  
  
All through the house  
  
Not a creature was stirring  
  
Except Red XIII, who was drunk.  
  
Far away, in SeeD Garden  
  
Rinoa got a call  
  
A party was soon planned with the words  
  
"Bring anyone at all!"  
  
Little did the speaker know  
  
That her words were insane  
  
Everyone would come to the party...  
  
Unfortunately, even Zidane!!  
  
~*~  
  
It was the night before Christmas in Tifa's Seventh Heaven. The FFVII crew was having a lot of fun preparing for the festivities... Well, sorta.  
  
Tifa: *very drunk* So Aeris was *hic* impaled by a giant *hic* pointy thing, *hic* drowned in the Lifestream, *hic* and killed three more times *hic* all in the same day. *hic* And that's why Cloud is on drugs... *hic*  
  
Marlene: Yay! Tell me more Christmas stories, Tifa!  
  
Red XIII was currently drugged and knocked out in the corner, and Cloud was passing out alcohol. Barret, Vincent, and Cid--all three drunk--were playing the Whose Line is it, Anyway? 'Song to an Audience Member' game and singing strange songs to random people. Cait Sith, meanwhile, was decorating the whole bar, and Yuffie was nowhere to be seen. And Aeris, of course, was having the best night-before-Christmas of all. She was lying in the Lifestream, dead!!  
  
Cloud: *walks up to Marlene* Hey, Marlene, would you like some real AVALANCHE alcohol? *grins drunkedly*  
  
Marlene: ... *backs away slowly*  
  
Barret, Vincent, and Cid: *slurred, drunk voices* Yuffie... *hic* She likesh to shteal shtuff... *hic* And no one knowsh that she'sh *hic* shecretly having an affair... *hic* With Reno...  
  
Cloud: New customers!!! Wait, I've already been here. *moves on*  
  
Cait Sith: *sigh* Why am I the only one doing the work here?! You people are supposed to get drunk on Christmas!! Right now, you should be decorating!! Tifa, don't freak the child out. Cloud, gimme one of those. Barret, Vincent, Cid, please don't sing about Yuffie's secret affairs...  
  
Barret: Alrighty!! *hic* Let'sh shing shomething elshe!!!  
  
Barret, Vincent, and Cid: Oopsh I *hic* did it again... *all fall over*  
  
Cait Sith: O.o Anyway... Yuffie? Where are you??  
  
Suddenly Cait Sith's Mog's back unzips and Yuffie falls out. Materia falls out behind her and scatters through the room.  
  
Cait Sith: O_o Ahem. Red, you may continue to do that.  
  
Red XIII: *somehow gives Cait Sith a thumbs up* Thanksh Cat Shit!!!  
  
Cait Sith: o_O;; Now, Aeris, roll over. The water is making your dress fly up.  
  
Somewhere in the Lifestream, Aeris rolls over.  
  
Cait Sith: Alright, everyone, now that we're all calm... Sorta... Let's do some breathing excersizes.  
  
Cait Sith starts doing breathing excersizes--the kind for pregnant women. O.o  
  
Yuffie: ... *slowly moves away from Cait Sith* Hey everyone, let's party!!!!  
  
Everyone except Cait Sith: YEAAAHHH!!!  
  
While everyone goes crazy, Yuffie runs through the room, searching for her scattered Materia. She suddenly finds a piece of paper.  
  
Yuffie: Hmm... *reading it* 'To Squall'. Someone must have dropped it from the last party we had... The one that wasn't made into a fanfic... We just HAD to have Tifa's birthday at the new strip section at the Gold Saucer... We all got sued for doing some strange things... O.o  
  
Author: *appears out of nowhere* Read the damn paper. *dissapears*  
  
Yuffie: It has a phone number on it... Heh heh.  
  
Yuffie runs to the phone and dials the number. Rinoa picks it up.  
  
Rinoa: Hello?  
  
Yuffie: Hi!!  
  
Rinoa: Yuffie? I gave you my phone number??  
  
Yuffie: Er... Squall did.  
  
Rinoa: That bastard...  
  
Yuffie: What??  
  
Rinoa: Nothing. What do you want?  
  
Yuffie: Wanna come to a Christmas party at Tifa's tomorrow night? Bring everyone you know!!  
  
Rinoa: Everyone I know?? MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yuffie: O_o  
  
Rinoa: ...Sorry.  
  
The author appears.  
  
Author: So Yuffie cursed everyone with those words... And now the party will get screwed up and stuff!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: o_O  
  
Author: Er... *dissapears*  
  
~*~  
  
Please review!! 


	2. 'What is that baboon doing behind you???...

Welcome to Ch. 2!!  
  
~*~  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
Everyone's invited  
  
The party will begin  
  
Yuffie's words will cause a riot  
  
She's screwed up again...  
  
Yuffie must now hurry  
  
The guests arrive soon  
  
She'll have to check the list again  
  
Did she invite a baboon??  
  
~*~  
  
At the garden on Christmas night...  
  
Rinoa: Squall, let's go!!  
  
Squall: *comes out of a shower* Coming.  
  
Rinoa: I just have a few questions...  
  
1. Why is there a shower in the middle of the dorm?  
  
2. Are you wearing a towel to the party?  
  
3. How do we get to Tifa's?  
  
4. What is that baboon doing behind you???  
  
Squall:  
  
1. I dunno.  
  
2. Yep.  
  
3. Through that door.  
  
4. His name's Joe. *grins*  
  
Rinoa: O.o Alrighty.  
  
Irvine, Zell, Quistis, and Selphie run into the room.  
  
Selphie: *hyper* YAY!!!!!! A PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Irvine: ... *whacks Selphie on the head*  
  
Selphie: *unharmed* MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I'M INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Irvine: Ah, dammit.  
  
Everyone walks out the door with Joe following. o.O Meanwhile, back at the Seventh Heaven... Yuffie is decorating for the party as Tifa is playing the piano drunkedly and singing along.  
  
Tifa: *high, scratchy voice* DARLING, SO THERE YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yuffie: O.o  
  
Tifa: WITH THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yuffie: o.O  
  
Tifa: I WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE NO DREAMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yuffie: You just skipped a few verses.  
  
Tifa: Well, I guess I have to start over then.  
  
Yuffie: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Meanwhile, with the FFVIII party...  
  
Irvine: Are we lost?  
  
Rinoa: No, we're in Alexandria! Look, here comes Dagger.  
  
Dagger walks over.  
  
Dagger: Hi Rinoa. If you call me Dagger one more time, you'll get executed.  
  
Rinoa: Kay, Dagger!  
  
Some guards run over and drag Rinoa away.  
  
Rinoa: HEEELP!!!  
  
Squall: Woohoo!!! She's gone!!  
  
Dagger: What are you people doing here, anyway?  
  
Zell: We were just heading to a party.  
  
Dagger: Oh, I wanna come!!!  
  
Steiner, Zidane, and Vivi run over.  
  
Steiner: So do we!!!  
  
Zidane: Is that okay, Dagger?  
  
Dagger: AAAAAAARGH!!! Again with that 'Dagger' thing!!!  
  
Voice: You will be henceforth known as Dagger!  
  
Dagger: I've been Dagger through the whole fic.  
  
Voice: I know! MWUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Quistis: Now to get to the party.  
  
Squall: But Rinoa's the only one who knows the way!  
  
Dagger: Then I guess we have to take her.  
  
Squall: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The guards come over with Rinoa.  
  
Rinoa: Finally, I'm out! I had to share a cell with a fugly old guy who looked like Reno...  
  
Dagger: Oh yeah, we had him arrested for stealing ShinRa motorcycles.  
  
Rinoa: O.o Right.  
  
Everyone walks through a magical door that's conviniently placed in the center of Alexandria.  
  
Rinoa: Where are we?...  
  
The party is at a beach. Suddenly, someone sneaks up behind Rinoa... Meanwhile, back at the Seventh Heaven. Tifa has finally stopped playing the piano and Yuffie is pacing around.  
  
Yuffie: When are they coming?!  
  
Tifa: ...Who? Did you invite a million people to a Christmas party that's here, by any chance?  
  
Yuffie: ...Oh, damn.  
  
Tifa: YUFFIE!!!  
  
Yuffie: But this might be fun!  
  
Tifa: Well, I guess I have no choice but to have this party... Let's get everyone else to help plan. Guys?  
  
Tifa looks over to the rest of the FFVII team. They're all sitting in front of a tv, staring at it intently...  
  
~*~  
  
Please review! 


	3. 'KIDD AND SERGE JOINED YOUR PARTY!!!'

Disclaimer: I don't own Square or anything...  
  
~*~  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
Yuffie is trying  
  
To plan the party  
  
While everyone else  
  
Is at the tv...  
  
Meanwhile with Joe  
  
And all of the others  
  
What's wrong with Rinoa?  
  
Who is behind her...?  
  
~*~  
  
The Seventh Heaven is shown. Everyone is in front of the tv except Yuffie and Tifa. They walk over.  
  
Tifa: What the hell is that??  
  
Barret: A PS2!!! *grin*  
  
Vincent: It's high-tech!!! :D  
  
Tifa: O_o;; Alright then. What's that?  
  
Cid: DOA 2.  
  
Tifa: o.O  
  
Yuffie: LEMME PLAY!!! *grabs the controller* :D  
  
Back with Joe and company...  
  
Squall: Someone's behind you...  
  
Rinoa turns around to see Kidd standing there.  
  
Rinoa: O.o;; Hello.  
  
Kidd: Hey mate! *grin*  
  
Rinoa: So... What do you want?  
  
Kidd: YOUR STUFF!!!  
  
Everyone: ...AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone runs off in different directions.  
  
Kidd: Ah damn, that never works...  
  
Zidane is, meanwhile, trying to sneak into a nearby house. He runs in and shuts the door. Serge is standing there.  
  
Zidane: Er... Hi.  
  
Serge: ...  
  
Zidane: Um... Some girl is chasing me and my friends...  
  
Serge: ...  
  
Zidane: So I decided to run in here.  
  
Serge: ...  
  
Zidane: Say something.  
  
Serge: ...Hello.  
  
Zidane: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! YOU TALKED!!!!!!!  
  
All the others hear Zidane and run into the house.  
  
Vivi: What's wrong? We heard you scream.  
  
Rinoa: Hey, shouldn't we be hiding?  
  
Dagger: Who cares? That girl's gone anyway.  
  
Kidd: Nah, I'm right here. *grin*  
  
Everyone: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Kidd: Um... We're harmless.  
  
Zidane: But... *points to Serge* HE TALKED!!!!!  
  
Everyone: *gasp*  
  
Suddenly some flashing letters appear. They say 'KIDD AND SERGE JOINED YOUR PARTY!!!'  
  
Rinoa: They can't do that!  
  
Kidd: Hey, the letters are gonna make us.  
  
Rinoa: Dammit.  
  
And so, the party heads off to Tifa's. Back to the bar... Everyone is taking turns playing DOA 2 except Tifa who thinks this is stupid, Cait Sith who is probably doing breathing exercises on the lawn O.o, and Red XIII who doesn't have hands.  
  
Tifa: We can't be playing video games... They're stupid things for kids.  
  
Yuffie: But we're in a game.  
  
Tifa: ...?? You're kidding. That's a game. We're not a game.  
  
Yuffie: But they're like us, not only a game, but a fanfic... Somewhere...  
  
Tifa: ...Wha??  
  
Some random DOA 2 fanfic is shown.  
  
Kasumi: Hey Ayane, you ever get the feeling that we're being watched?  
  
Ayane: No. Come on, the only people being watched are in video games.  
  
Kasumi: Yeah... And they're not even real. *grin* Now let's go play FFVII!  
  
Back to Tifa's bar...  
  
Yuffie: *sigh* Whatever...  
  
Suddenly the doorbell rings.  
  
Tifa: ...  
  
Yuffie: *weak smile*  
  
Tifa: I AM GOING TO ELIMINATE YOU!  
  
Yuffie: But we have to have the party first!!  
  
Yuffie runs to get the door...  
  
~*~  
  
Please review. ^_^ 


	4. 'Hey, that's what the moogle I defrosted...

Welcome back!  
  
Disclaimer: QUIT STALKING ME AND ASKING ME IF I OWN STUFF!!! I DON'T!!!! AAAAAAARGH!!!! *throws random object*  
  
~*~  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
With 2 additions, Serge and Kidd,  
  
The party will begin  
  
But which weird guest will crash it?  
  
Did Yuffie screw up again?  
  
Very soon they're coming  
  
What can Yuffie choose?  
  
To 1. give in or to 2. surprise Tifa?  
  
If it 2., she'll awake with a bruise.  
  
~*~  
  
Everyone runs into the bar.  
  
Tifa: AAAAAARRGH!!! YUFFIE!!!!!  
  
Cloud looks around and his eyes land on someone.  
  
Cloud: Aeris?!  
  
Yuffie: No, that's Red XIII... O.o Are you drunk?  
  
Cloud: *giggle* RED!!!!  
  
Yuffie: ... *slowly edges away from Cloud*  
  
Tifa: Yuffie, why are there so many people?!  
  
Yuffie freezes.  
  
Tifa: O_o *takes out a flamethrower and uses it on Yuffie*  
  
Yuffie: You bastard!!  
  
Zidane: *runs over* Hey, that's what the moogle I defrosted called me!  
  
Yuffie: Did you use a flamethrower?  
  
Zidane: No, it was Vivi's magic.  
  
Yuffie: Then you didn't defrost it, Vivi did.  
  
Tifa: *sigh* Yuffie... Hey, don't freeze again!  
  
Yuffie freezes.  
  
Tifa: Dammit! *takes out the flamethrower again and uses*  
  
Yuffie: You bastard!!  
  
Zidane: Hey, that's what the moogle I defrosted called me!  
  
Yuffie: Did you use a flamethrower?  
  
Kidd walks over.  
  
Kidd: Hey, I couldn't help but overhear your interesting conversation!  
  
Yuffie: *grin* So, who are you?  
  
Kidd: I'm a 16-year-old thief!  
  
Yuffie: Me too!  
  
Zidane: And me!!  
  
Yuffie: Who do you two work for?  
  
Kidd: I'm for Radical Dreamers.  
  
Zidane: I work for Tantalus.  
  
Yuffie: I'm an individual.  
  
Kidd and Zidane gasp.  
  
Zidane: Hmm... Maybe we should all make a thief cult so Yuffie can work for someone!  
  
Kidd: Yeah! We need something to protect though...  
  
Yuffie: I protect materia.  
  
Kidd: I protect my amulet.  
  
Zidane: I protect my dagger.  
  
Dagger: *runs over* ZIDANE!!!! *hugz*  
  
Zidane: O_o;; *throws Dagger into a corner* Now, we need something besides marbles, necklaces, and weapons-- *glares at Dagger* --to protect.  
  
Next, Joe is shown rooting through Tifa's drawers.  
  
Joe: WOO WOO!!! (O.o Those are supposed to be the noises a gorilla makes) *pulls a pair of underwear on head*  
  
o.O Meanwhile with Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, and Dagger.  
  
Dagger: This world of yours is fascinating.  
  
Selphie: *giggle* Wanna hear more?  
  
Rinoa: At night, we all stay up and sneak into the boys' dorms...  
  
Quistis: *words are sensored*  
  
Dagger: ... O_O  
  
O.o On to Tifa. She's walking around, listening to people's conversations and trying to keep everything clean. -_-;; Now, with Barret, Vincent, Cid, Zell, Irvine, Serge, and Steiner.  
  
Steiner: Did you see that? Ayane's skirt just flew up!  
  
All the guys: O.O *stare at screen*  
  
Irvine: That's not a skirt. Believe me.  
  
Zell: How do you know? You wear skirts?  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Zell: ... *edges away from Irvine*  
  
Cid: This is @#$%ing boring. Half-naked women fight by my house all the time.  
  
Vincent: ...Cid?  
  
Cid: Yeah?  
  
Vincent: That's just Shera in a bathing suit, washing the Highwind. And she's the only one there.  
  
Cid: ...I've been blinded.  
  
Serge: Let's play another game.  
  
Everyone: HE TALKED!!!!  
  
Serge: ...Stop that.  
  
Everyone: Okay.  
  
Serge: Anyway, let's take a vote...  
  
The whole room votes on a game. The results are:  
  
DOA 2 again: 20/22  
  
MGS2: 1/22  
  
Final Fantasy X: 1/22  
  
Tifa: There are only 21 people... Who just came in?!  
  
Seymour is standing at the door.  
  
Seymour: *grin*  
  
Yuffie: So he voted for FFX... GET HIM!!!!  
  
Everyone runs after Seymour, but he escapes first, leaving only a copy of FFX behind.  
  
Yuffie: Hmm... Well, maybe we should play FFX.  
  
Rinoa: Yeah. And whoever thought of MGS2?  
  
Serge: *grin*  
  
Tifa: Let's just play the game...  
  
Serge puts FFX into the PS2.  
  
Steiner: Wait!!! Seymour left something else...  
  
Steiner holds up a sheet of paper.  
  
Serge: It looks like a cheat code.  
  
Steiner: Well, try it! Step 1... Play through the game 20 times without losing any battles. 2... On your 21st game, get past the first Blitzball game by winning it. 3... Beat the game with all the Aeons aquired. 4... Restart the game and a new cinema should play after the opening.  
  
And so, Serge begins playing... Luckily, there is already a save for 20 games beaten... Meanwhile with Cloud and Squall.  
  
Squall: So if you stay up late enough at the Garden, the girls come by and *words are censored*!!! *grin*  
  
Cloud: How old are you?  
  
Squall: 17.  
  
Cloud: You're so immature. I've grown to do better things!  
  
Squall: Like what?  
  
Cloud: Well... *words are censored*  
  
Squall: O_O DEAR GOD!!!!  
  
On to Cait Sith... He's outside the bar, still doing breathing excersizes. O.o A child comes up to him.  
  
Cait Sith: *breathes* Ah... How invigorating...  
  
Child: ...O.o MOMMY!!!! *runs away quickly*  
  
Meanwhile with Red XIII and Vivi.  
  
Red XIII: Did people forget I can talk?  
  
Vivi: *pats Red's back* Don't worry. People think that I'm a plush toy too.  
  
Red XIII: *glare* Are you saying that I'm not living? That I'm DEAD???  
  
Vivi: Yeah, whatever.  
  
Red XIII: Well, that's not much of an insult. But I sure do like killing children! *dives at Vivi*  
  
Vivi uses Doomsday, blowing up the whole bar.  
  
Tifa: AAAAAHH!!! DAMMIT!!!!  
  
Vivi: Uh... Oh, crap.  
  
Tifa runs at Vivi, wielding a broom.  
  
Voice: *sigh* Let's just get on with the story...  
  
The bar is suddenly fixed. Everything is like it was before, except Red is still dead.  
  
Tifa: ^^ Yay!! *runs off*  
  
Vivi: O.o Red?  
  
Red XIII: X_X  
  
Vivi: Ah well.  
  
Vivi dumps Red XIII into Tifa's room and runs off. Moving on to the thieves...  
  
Yuffie: So, what will our thief cult be named?  
  
Tifa runs over.  
  
Tifa: No cults! Especially not thief cults!!  
  
Kidd: It's not a thief cult... It's a...  
  
Zidane: Streaker's club!  
  
Rinoa, Dagger, Selphie, and Quistis run over.  
  
Rinoa, Dagger, Selphie, and Quistis: WE WANNA JOIN!!!  
  
Tifa: So do I!  
  
Yuffie: O.o Never mind, we're not really planning a club.  
  
Tifa: Oh...  
  
The 5 girls walk off.  
  
Kidd: =D That was easy.  
  
Zidane: Now, for the name of the cult...  
  
Back to the guys playing FFX.  
  
Serge: There, the code's complete!!!  
  
Serge restarts the game and a cinema plays. The images amaze everyone...  
  
~*~  
  
Please review! 


	5. 'And I can watch myself get fired!!! MWU...

Disclaimer: I don't own stuff! *grin*  
  
~*~  
  
The party's begun  
  
And it will end soon  
  
Everyone will leave  
  
...Except the baboon.  
  
Will this chapter get going?  
  
Why's Red XIII dead?  
  
Is the author demented  
  
In the head?  
  
Just you wait, Tifa  
  
The biggest surprise  
  
Is the guest  
  
That is yet to arrive...  
  
~*~  
  
Vincent: EEEW!!!!  
  
Barret: Oh, lord!!!! GROSS!!  
  
Cid: This is a NUDE code!!! DISGUSTING!!!  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Vincent: You LIKE nudity.  
  
Cid: Not this kind...  
  
On the tv screen... A door with the sign 'WOMENS' BATHROOM' on it is shown. A flush is heard and Tidus walks out. O_o;; The scene goes into the bathroom... Wakka is shown, drunk and completely naked. He's dancing to some funky porno music playing in the background. Three bathrooms stalls open. Yuna, Rikku, and Lulu walk out, wearing only skimpy bikinis. Yuna grabs Wakka by the hair and dips his head into a toilet. Rikku flushes. Wakka's head is now half-way down a pipe filled with crap. Lulu pulls his head out and hits him with a hammer. 'Suteki Da Ne' starts playing.  
  
Everyone: O_O;;  
  
Irvine: Okay, what the hell was that?!  
  
Zell: Apparently, the three women abusing Wakka...  
  
Steiner: But don't you understand? This is what the real meaning of FFX is.  
  
Everyone: ...??  
  
Vincent: FFX is really rated M? Just look at all the porn!! =D  
  
Steiner: No... Close...  
  
Serge: FFX is really Conker's Bad Fur Day developed by Square?  
  
Steiner: o.O Close. FFX is all about love.  
  
Everyone: Aww... *misty eyes*  
  
Vincent: *sniff sniff* You're talking about the ending scene?  
  
Steiner: No, dumbass. You see, Wakka is a player who's been with all three of the FFX women... So they teamed up to get Tidus's crap on his lovely hair!  
  
Everyone: ...O.o  
  
Zell: That's love?  
  
Steiner: Yep! *grin*  
  
Cid: ...I now officially hate Square. And the PS2. All games, for that matter.  
  
Irvine: Yeah. Let's go home and wash our eyes out.  
  
Tifa: *runs over* Wait, don't leave!!! Let's all play... A FINAL FANTASY!!!  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!!!  
  
Tifa: *to Rinoa, Dagger, Quistis, and Selphie* Well, I guess our strip party thing has been delayed...  
  
Rinoa: It's okay. Let's all go watch Cloud crossdress!!! =D  
  
Tifa: Who said we're playing FFVII? We might play something else.  
  
Selphie: Hmm... I can watch myself crash into Squall!!!  
  
Rinoa: *glare* And I can watch me and Squall dance.  
  
Dagger: I can see Zidane follow me off Alexandria castle!  
  
Tifa: I can see Aeris die!  
  
Quitis: And I can watch myself get fired!!! MWUAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Everyone: O_o;;  
  
Quistis: ...Sorry.  
  
Meanwhile, with Kidd, Yuffie, and Zidane...  
  
Kidd: So, the name of the cult is 16-YOT.  
  
Yuffie: Huh??  
  
Kidd: 16-Year-Old-Thieves!  
  
Yuffie: How original! ...We can get arrested.  
  
Zidane: I like the name.  
  
Yuffie: ...So do I. *grin* Now, what is that thing?...  
  
Kidd is holding a yo-yo.  
  
Kidd: We're gonna protect it! *grin*  
  
Zidane: It's a piece of crap!  
  
Yuffie: Yeah, we need something better!  
  
Dagger runs over.  
  
Dagger: You need something to protect? *hint hint, wink wink*  
  
Zidane: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zidane quickly runs off.  
  
Dagger: ZIDAAAAAAANE!!!!!!! =D *follows him*  
  
Yuffie: Our cult sucks.  
  
Kidd: Yeah, there goes a member...  
  
Yuffie: Hey, they're starting a Final Fantasy over there!  
  
Tifa: *runs over* Yeah, let's all go watch.  
  
Yuffie and Kidd run over to the PS2. Meanwhile with Cloud and Squall.  
  
Squall: I need a hole in my dorm... =DDD  
  
Tifa: *runs over* Let's all go play FFs!!!  
  
Cloud: Okay!!!  
  
Tifa: Hmm... What are you doing?  
  
Squall: N-nothing...  
  
Cloud: We sure weren't talking about holes...  
  
Tifa: =P I know what you're doing, Cloud! YOU WILL PAY!!!! *runs off*  
  
Cloud: Dammit...  
  
Meanwhile Cait Sith is still doing breathing excersizes. O.o Onto Vivi...  
  
Vivi: I sure hope Tifa doesn't find Red XIII dead in her room...  
  
Tifa: *runs over* Hey Vivi! Wanna go watch yourself beat the crap outta 3 Black Waltzes?  
  
Vivi: YAY!!! :D  
  
Tifa and Vivi go to the PS2.  
  
Cloud: I'm gonna play cause I rule you all. :D And I choose to play FF... VII!!  
  
Yuffie puts FFVII into the PS2 and the game starts.  
  
Cloud: O.o What the hell is that thing?! It's so... HORRID!!!!! *shields eyes*  
  
Vincent: ...That's Aeris.  
  
Cloud: ...Oh.  
  
The game starts.  
  
Cloud: Eeeeew... What's that?!  
  
Vincent: You. You're the main character.  
  
Cloud: O.o Damn.  
  
Barret: What's up with all the spelling errors??  
  
Tifa: Yes... What the hell is a ''???  
  
Voice: It's ''.  
  
Tifa: Huh?? That's not the author's voice...  
  
Everyone turns to see a figure at the door...  
  
~*~  
  
Please review! ^^ 


	6. 'Hey everyone, Cait Sith stopped breathi...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my ideas. Companies that I highly respect *cough* own everything else. :D  
  
~*~  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
So now they're all playing  
  
FFVII, but why?  
  
Is this crossover an MST?  
  
Will they get to the part where Aeris dies?  
  
Will the party ever end?  
  
Will it ever BEGIN?  
  
Maybe I should delete this fic  
  
And type it all again...  
  
~*~  
  
The figure is a girl who looks strangely like Yo-Yo Yoko from Ehrgeiz.  
  
Girl who's probably Yoko: Give it back! *points to Kidd*  
  
Kidd: Give what back??  
  
Girl who's probably Yoko: My yo-yo!  
  
Kidd: I don't have it.  
  
Yuffie: Yes you do, don't lie!! Lying is bad!!  
  
Kidd glares at Yuffie and hands the girl her yo-yo.  
  
Girl who's probably Yoko: Thanks.  
  
The girl starts toward the door.  
  
Tifa: Wait! Who the hell are you?  
  
Girl who's definitely Yoko: Yo-Yo Yoko. And I know you.  
  
Tifa: I know. I'm in Ehrgeiz! :D  
  
Yoko: Let's fight!  
  
Tifa: Oh shit.  
  
Cloud: Come on, we need a chick fight! *gets slapped by Tifa*  
  
Squall: Yeah, chick fight!!!! :D *gets slapped by Rinoa*  
  
Zidane: Chick fight! Chick fight! Chick fight! *gets slapped by Dagger*  
  
Serge: *points to a pile of mud that's conveniently in the middle of the bar* Fight in that mud! *gets slapped by Kidd*  
  
Yoko: *sigh* Well, I'm leaving...  
  
Yoko goes outside. A moment later, she runs inside, looking freaked out.  
  
Yoko: There's a dead cat and a giant other dead thing on your lawn!!  
  
Tifa: Hmm... *runs outside* Hey everyone, Cait Sith stopped breathing!!!  
  
Everyone: YAY~!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa runs back in.  
  
Yoko: Well, there's no way that I'm going back outside.  
  
Tifa: Then spend Christmas with us!  
  
Yoko: YAY!!!!! Er... I mean... Darn.  
  
Yoko joins everyone by the PS2.  
  
Cloud: *eyes glazed over* Wow. That was a short game.  
  
Yuffie: You beat it already?! O.o  
  
Cloud: Yeah...  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Tifa: Well, there's nothing to do now...  
  
Yuffie: Why didn't you make Christmas gifts for us, Tifa?  
  
Tifa: Shut up.  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Cloud: ...ALCOHOL!!!!!  
  
Everyone: YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud starts passing out alcohol. Everyone gets drunk and passes out on the floor. Soon, they all leave. After the party... Tifa is shown standing in the middle of her bar. Piss and vomit is all over the floor.  
  
Tifa: *sigh* Better get to work... *pulls out a mop*  
  
Yuffie runs in.  
  
Yuffie: Hey, wazzup.  
  
Tifa: Yuffie, you started the party! You better clean this all up!  
  
Yuffie: NOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Yuffie runs out of the room. A spaceship is sitting outside. She gets in and flies away.  
  
Tifa: O_o;; What the hell...?  
  
And so, Christmas was a joyous festivity.  
  
Tifa: Joyous my ass!!!! *tries to kill the author* I have to clean all this piss and vomit!!!!  
  
Now, Christmas is over. And we can only await the next Christmas, when we have a huge party involving FFI, FFIV, FFVI, FFVII, FFVIII, FFIX, FFX, CC, and CT!!!  
  
Tifa: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!! YOU HEARTLESS BITCH!!!!!!! *runs out of the bar, screaming*  
  
O.o Merry Christmas, everyone!!  
  
~*~  
  
Thanks for reading. The fic is now complete, so please review!! 


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